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The policy is..if for some reason you're not completely satisfied

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

12:35PM - ESPN

I hots bills.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

12:37AM - 4. 4 dollar. 4 dollar 10 innnnnch

you heard that right

Thursday, January 29, 2009

2:44AM - All Of These Things Have Led You To Me.

February is the busiest month of the entire universe.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

5:13AM - I He She Be

Brian better be short for Brianrietta.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

4:56AM - Atlantis To Interzone

You and your Hog hands. Im still surprised
If i were you i wouldnt touch anyone with those things.
Im sure nobody is gonna have to take that risk.

You look like a professor plumb or an eggplant
a big fat eggplant.

Emphasis on "a"
go ahead and look up the word emphasis.

4:52AM - Falcon Jab

Im glad they didnt call it 25 cause if that show was one more hour i wouldnt watch it.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

5:30AM - Darkness!

I fell asleep

Monday, December 22, 2008

11:21PM - You Are A Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins

In clandestine terms
Spirited Away in the flesh

Thursday, December 18, 2008

3:33AM - I Knew A Guy That Looked Just Like You But He Wasnt Either

Endless rows of houses fuse and theres never any news

The Wu Tang Clan is coming to Jacksonville

Saturday, November 29, 2008

12:36PM - What Is It About A Solid Gold Baby

Get a room you two!

This is a room

Oh. Then lose some weight.

Friday, November 28, 2008

11:20PM - What Happened To Busta Rhymes?

Bev bev Beverley Hills cop
Bev bev Beverley Hills cop
Axle Foleys gonna find them drugs.

Monday, November 24, 2008

6:26PM - I Was Mentioned On South Park

Hollywood here i come ^

Saturday, November 22, 2008

5:49PM - Oh Boy Girls! BOYS!


Thursday, November 20, 2008

2:51AM - Thats My Purse !I Dont Know You!

The way is very dangerous
without you here to guide
me through these crazy
dancing robots and
shark faced dragons are
flying over my head
and they
are just waiting for me to die
on this dusty road
thats going nowhere without you

2:15AM - Fatso And Idiot ( Affectionately And Respectively)


2:13AM - Not So Secret Lovers

The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one other person.


1:41AM - Thats What Chris Collinsworth Said

dear joe, I had to use your handkerchief as a tourniquet
it's bloodstained now, and torn
dearly hope this letter finds you well, baby

when the war is over
when we all come home
I will wait for you, dear
at the cafe hong kong

dear joe, a grenade got me, so I'm blind
'least I'll think of you always as young-looking
dearly hope this letter finds you well, baby

when the war is over
(I pray it won't be long)
I will wait for you, dear
at the cafe hong kong

dear joe, some complications, and I'm dying
always think of me as young
here's your handkerchief
dearly hope this letter finds you well, baby

when the war is over
when we all come home
wait for me, my lover
at the cafe hong kong

for me the war is over
and life was just a song
wait for me forever
at the cafe hong kong

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

3:30PM - Dress Less

Would it make you feel much better if it was you against the world?

My dog is the coolest
Theres a more different McDonalds less than a mile away from the other less different McDonalds
Tom Selecks mustache filed for a divorce
Robert Downey Jr. is drinking somewhere..heavily
I am the Pacific Ocean

I have two dollars
for the girl on the corner
I got arrested

its a haiku
because i know you dont know what it means cause youre a hippy

Sunday, November 16, 2008

12:01PM - Football!

Best day ever. GO JAGS!
[edit: This was actually the worst day ever.]

Saturday, November 15, 2008

2:19PM - This One Time At Space Camp

I love this time of year
January is my new favorite month

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